One Step Closer...

To home.

We are in Guangzhou (Canton in the English-speaking world) for the final leg of the trip.  Max now has a Chinese passport and so our work in Zhengzhou was complete.  Yesterday we had a very tiring day of travel to get to Guangzhou, where we will take little man to the US consulate later this week.

A few thoughts as we left Zhengzhou (remember that this blog is not merely written for entertainment, but also so our kids can get a small glimpse into life when they were united with us).  Zhengzhou is a neat city - it is Maddy's 'hometown' and the capital of the Province that gave us Max, as well.  That being said, Zhengzhou is an industrial city. There is a lot of 'heavy industry' there, and this contributes to some pretty poor air quality.  Flying into Zhengzhou is literally a descent into a fog, which is how it feels being there.  This is a city of 8 million people with Walmart, KFC, Subway, BK, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, and Starbucks but this is not at all a Western city.  The people of Zhengzhou stare quite a lot because foreigners are not common there. They are very nice when they figure out what we are doing (thanks to the handy cards that we wear around our necks that explain in Chinese and English that we are coming to adopt this child 'as our own'), but this city will always be a 'hard' city for our family.  It is here that we received our children, both of whom were taken from loving environments in order to be placed into our arms.  For Max, he literally woke up at his healing home, was plopped in a van at 0530, and handed to strange-looking strangers at 1030.  I do not know many adults that would handle that well.  He spent the first 48h being rather quiet and congenial - opening his arms and running to basically anyone.  Then the grieving started.  He spent the last two days being just shy of inconsolable.  His sleep is disturbed and he really hated being in our hotel room the last two days in Zhengzhou.  Did I mention that we have a four-year old on the trip, too?  She has actually been quite a champ through it all, with only some episodic selective hearing.  They say that the child has to be comfortable enough with you to allow the grieving to begin, which should mean this is a good sign. Still, it is hard to listen to a scared little boy cry out 'MAMA' and know that he is thinking of anyone but the two of you.

The point of all of this is that leaving Zhengzhou with our new child is - to Sarah and me - momentous. It is their first time in an airplane, they have been formally adopted, and the plane literally rises out of the fog of Henan province to begin their journey 'home'.  They may not know it at the time, but that flight out really means something.  It is the closing of one chapter of life - a chapter that was bookended by pain (the loss of parents and abandonment at the beginning - and the loss of the only home they have ever known at the end) - and the start of the next chapter.  I like to think the next chapter starts with that bright blue sky that you can only see at 35000 feet. No pollution. No fog.  There are plenty of bumps ahead, but this is the first step towards some type of permanence in their lives.  The flight ends in Guangzhou - a city in the sub-tropics of about 12 million people.  By area it is the 2nd larges city in China (behind Beijing), and by population is is #5. The air here is considerably cleaner (though not as clean as Lawrence, KS … 'far above the golden valley, glorious to view…'), and the city has more flowers and trees.  The trip to Guangzhou was a real turning point for Maddy.  Sounds rosy, huh?  So what did Max think of all of this?

This is how yesterday felt for Max's parents:

Turns out that my little man does not like to be confined while awake.  Maddy had a psychotic meltdown two years ago on the way to the airport. Max had to sleep on the way so that he could save up some energy for the fit he would throw in seat 44C of the Boeing 737 tasked with flying us out of the haze.  Many looks from fellow passengers, food offered by the flight attendants and suckers from other adoptive parents ensued.  Did I mention that the plane had not yet taxied onto the runway? The safety video had not commenced?  I couldn't remember if I had mentioned that part…I can think of things that I fear more than this coming Friday - 2h flight, 5h layover, 13.5h flight - but not many.

I have always liked multiple choice tests.  The answer is right there in front of you, masked only by three to four pretenders. You can usually eliminate one to two quickly and leave yourself with - at worst - a 50/50 shot. I think the best way to sum up the last few days is in 'quiz format'. In that spirit:

1. Our group of 6 adults and 11 children was given this private room near the kitchen of a Zhengzhou restaurant because of:

1. The extraordinary gratitude of the Provincial Chinese Government at our adoption of these wonderful children
2. The well-known desire of American families to eat soft-shelled turtle in privacy
3. The look of horror on the faces of those locals occupying the main dining room upon our arrival in the entryway
4. Our culturally appropriate attire and behavior

2. The beverage seen in the picture above represents:

1. The official Chinese beer of the NBA
2. Chinese Natural Light
3. The Champagne of Chinese beers
4. Fatherly attempts to numb the pain of parenthood
5. more than one of the above

3. The shoes above were purchased in Asia by two Caucasian adults. They were purchased as 'little driving mocs'. Upon closer inspection, they most likely represent:

1. Papal slippers
2. The footwear of Mexican drug-lords
3. House slippers for upper level Chinese Mafia Dons
4. a sneak peak at the GapKids Spring 2015 catalog

4. My son is attempting to use sign language in an attempt to bridge the cultural divide. This is the sign for:

1. I would like a hug
2. I am about to scream so loud the Captain will think a sheep is being murdered
3. Take cover, for I am about to head-butt the $hit out of you
4. Tell the guy across the aisle in 44D that his eyewear is unoriginal 

***as an aside, the little tank pictured above is trying to fall asleep right now but the China Marriott is having a pool party 10 floors below and playing????….you guessed it, Gangnam Style.  You seriously cannot make this up***

5. Madelyn, pictured above, has just finished traveling with the subject of the previous question.  This behavior represents:

1. Mind-numbing exhaustion. She believed it was moisturizer
2. The completion of her transformation into the Joker
3. A beautiful attempt to be like mommy
4. The first time dad laughed in about 9 hours

6. You have recently finished a long day of travel and open up a checked bag to find some chocolate. A fine white powder explodes at you from the zipper of the bag as it is opened. What has just happened?

1. A Coke-blizzard -- you are lucky they don't have drug-sniffing dogs in Guangzhou
2. Terrorists mistook your bag for that of POTUS and stuffed it with enough Anthrax to wipe the perma-smile off Joseph R. Biden
3. Powdered Chinese baby formula blew up during the flight
4. It does not matter. There are two boxes of chocolate down there and your sole mission in life at this point is to eat whatever does not eat you first

Thank you for completing this short quiz. Tomorrow is a medical exam for Max.  Hopefully we will leave without swindling a toy as our Madelyn did 2 years ago…

I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything.

Good night/day.

cr